


Break the Quiet

by RavenAurelieChoiseau



Series: Kitty Bellies: Tyler and Josh being soft bois [10]
Category: Twenty One Pilots, Tysh - Fandom, joshler - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Blowjobs, Breeding, Childhood Memories, Choices, Closeted, Come Shot, Come Swallowing, Coming Out, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Dysfunctional Family, Falling In Love, Falling in love with your best friend, Family Drama, Feelings, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Hiding, Homophobia, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Little Sisters, Love, M/M, Moving In Together, Mutual Pining, Non-Canon Relationship, Nostalgia, One True Pairing, Oral Sex, Pining, Public Scene, Quiet Sex, Sneaking Around, Some Plot, Trench Era, True Love, Truth Revealed, Tyler is addicted to plaid, Winter, finally free, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2020-04-24 08:36:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19169650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenAurelieChoiseau/pseuds/RavenAurelieChoiseau
Summary: Before the summer festivals begin, Tyler and Josh finally get the chance to spend an evening alone. When they realize how much they've missed each other, the temptation to take advantage of this privacy is too great to resist.Tyler develops an addiction to plaid in the meantime.





	1. Choices

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back for a spell. Thanks to lightmyfire for the prompt request and inspiration within our conversations for some of the content. Sorry it took so long to write.  
> As usual, I'm so weak for these bois that I couldn't resist writing them another piney fic. This is all of course my conjecture on the subject, so please take it as is: Joshler fiction. Having said that, enjoy the feelz.
> 
> I’ve decided to make a series and include all the stories I’ve written so far as well where I let the bois be their soft selves. These stories can be read in any order since the main theme is cotton candy fluffiness. It’s a bit sexy here I know but I just love the buildup!

“They were so much happier before.”  
Rumors abound. In social media or in private musings. Something feels different, people say. Off.  
Are they happy or not? What’s going on?  
  
Every move, every word, every twitch on their faces is analyzed by millions each day. Fact of the matter is, most of the gossip isn't wrong.  
Something _is_ off. They _were_ so much happier before.  
  
A lot has changed, especially over the past two years. Tyler and Josh grew up. They grew apart and then found themselves again. It’s certainly been a struggle. The brief falling out took an unimaginable toll.  
For too many reasons to list, it just hasn’t been the same since hiatus. Josh realizes with the band’s ridiculous popularity, a whole other set of expectations and complications have arisen. And this has slowly eroded what they built of their relationship together.   
It would help if they could spend some time alone.   
  
Josh misses Tyler. And Tyler misses Josh. No matter what, they always find their way back to each other. As ridiculous as it sounds for two people who spend most of their time together for work, this doesn't mean they're  _together._ Even two people in the same room can feel completely alone.   
The need goes beyond the band. The short break they have before the festivals begin is also a much-needed vacation from their regular lives.   
  
That’s why the evening they've just spent together is so important. It was the first time in what seemed like ages they were able to be alone.  
Without sentinels or cameras or prying eyes of any kind.  
  
*  
  
Josh came to Tyler’s. Brought his old Nintendo that Mamma Dun boxed up for him when she cleaned out his room. They ordered Mexican. Played OG Mario Bros., side by side on the couch like two teenagers. Shot the shit.  
Tyler told his stupid jokes, the ones that make Josh grab his belly and roll around on the floor, mouth open but no sound of laughter escaping.  
It was just like old times. Like before.  
Before the fame. Before the microscope on their lives. Before the series of choices made to deflect attention from their brightest yet most painful truth.  
Josh and Tyler are in love with each other.  
  
All of that led to this evening.  
And now it’s late. It’s not the first time Josh has slept over, but it is the first time since hiatus they’ve been alone in this house. Josh stands to the left and Tyler to the right. The hallway seems narrower all of a sudden.  
Josh’s toothbrush hangs from between his fingertips and he flicks it nervously against his palm.  
  
“You remember where the guest bedroom is?” Tyler asks, his voice a bare whisper in the night.  
Josh stops, looks at his feet a moment before letting his gaze drift up to Tyler’s face. “Yup. Right here.”  
A lingering look tethers them.  
“So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow morning? You need anything just holler.”  
“Will do.”  
Josh’s heart sinks. After two steps, Tyler half-turns, calling Josh’s name. His mind whirls as he spins around. Is he going to... ?  
“Tonight was fun, Josh. I missed this. I missed us.”  
Almond eyes brimming with warmth blink. “It was. I missed us, too.”  
“Goodnight, Josh.” Tyler’s smile is pinched. What if he... ?  
“Goodnight, Ty.”  
  
*  
  
Darkness thickens, and except for the faint blink of his message notifications kindling the corner, the only other light comes from atop the motion detectors outside.  
Josh stares upwards, sniffing the heavens. His ears perk up, listening for any sound coming from Tyler’s room. When fifteen minutes pass, and his brow is still creased with tension, Josh sighs and turns on his side. The sheet covers only his thighs, one foot sticking out beyond the frame.    
Resignation leaves a strange muzzy feeling in his brain.  
  
A room away, Tyler tosses in bed. His expression is darkened with a stricken hint of disappointment. He thinks he can hear Josh breathing. If he focuses hard enough, maybe he can…  
Josh’s nearness makes Tyler’s senses spin. He picks up on his cologne. Tyler wrinkles his nose against his pillow and fills his lungs to capacity.  
A scream lodges in his gullet.  
  
3 minutes later, the mattress dips next to Josh. His breath snags a hold on to something in his chest when he feels Tyler snuggle in.   
He was wondering how long it would take before Tyler snuck into his bed.   
  
“Josh? Are you asleep?”  
Tyler’s voice cracks slightly. He tries to steady the uneasy pounding of the pulse beneath his ribs.   
Josh _is_ awake.  
Wide awake.  
  
Just moments ago he and Tyler were staring down their respective walls, staving off temptation.  
It was so quiet Josh could almost hear Tyler’s thoughts whirring in his mind, like a washing machine on spin cycle.  
Josh knows this chaos. The familiar pull that tears through them both when they’re alone. It’s dragging its nails against their insides once more. Like a caged animal begging for release.   
  
Yes.  
No.  
We should.  
We shouldn’t.  
But the need? The desire?  
Fuck.  
  
Josh didn’t dare go to him. Not to his room.   
The guest bedroom. The guest bed. This is the setting for their perdition. A place you can shut a door to and ultimately hide a dirty secret. Like the dirty secret they both share.  
White linens for black sins.   
  
All Josh had to do was wait for Tyler to decide.  
_I want you so badly, Josh._    
_I want you so badly, Tyler._    
If only they could hear each other’s silent beseeches through the walls built of their contrition.    
  
“I’m up, Ty,” he replies in a whisper.   
Josh rolls over. Finds Tyler in only his boxers, dark head resting on Josh’s pillow. Their noses nearly touch.   
Josh exhales. Smiles.   
Tyler exhales. Smiles.   
A few stray rays from the lamp outside filter through Josh’s curls. It’s so overwhelming Tyler might cry. Josh couldn’t be more beautiful in this dim light, the reflections dancing in his eyes, dazzling him.  
_He’s mine. For this one night Josh is mine._    
  
Tyler whimpers. His skinny arm twitches. He wants nothing more than to extend it. Run the pads of his digits up Josh’s neck and to his flushed cheek.   
But there’s a choker on him. Whether or not he wants to admit it, it’s there, making him jump from one extreme to the other.   
Momentarily, the grip tightens and gets the better of him.    
  
This can’t happen again, Tyler thinks uselessly. This keeps happening and it shouldn’t and yet…  
And yet here he is. In bed with Josh. Both of them practically naked.   
Maybe they deserve this? Maybe…  
  
“Josh, how long has it been?” The question escapes him before he thinks better of it. It doesn’t need clarification. Joshua knows exactly what Tyler’s talking about.    
“97 days, 4 hours” he peeks at the alarm clock behind Tyler. “And 42 minutes.”  
Tyler chuckles, shakes his head. “Why doesn’t it surprise me you know that?”  
The question’s rhetorical.   
  
Latching on to one last bit of remorse, Tyler considers getting up. Tracing back his steps on this walk of shame.  
But Josh’s eyes are holding him hostage.   
“It’s been too long.”   
Josh says what Tyler only has the courage to think. The burning extends to his limbs now like a raging fever. The mutual ache expands like a parachute, trapping them under.   
  
Josh gulps down the guilt like bitter cough syrup. Blinks to clear his vision, maybe even clear his conscience.   
It takes one breath for him to understand it’s no use. Tyler is his drug. He can’t stay away.   
  
Tyler waits. He was the one who climbed into Joshua’s bed, he knows this, but now he’s hesitant to be the one to set the rest in motion.   
Josh understands from Ty’s penetrating gaze it’s going to be him leading tonight. Time will fly and tomorrow’s dawn will throw them back into their realities. But for now, for tonight, this is it.   
Their moment.   
  
Taking Ty’s hand, Josh brings it to his mouth, notices with raised brow that the black band is missing.  
Tyler tenses. His index finger steals down to Josh’s lower lip after Josh presses a soft kiss into his palm. His lids drop, shutting tight to fully savor the feeling of Josh’s tongue moist against his finger.   
  
“Come here, Ty.”   
Tyler releases all his breathable air. Tripped up on the angles of Josh’s face, his dark liquid eyes make a promise he can’t keep.   
_It will not happen again. Not this time._ Last time was _the last._    
Last time was the last. He knows it’s a lie as soon as his thoughts aline. He can’t resist Joshua Dun even if a gun were cutting into his sphenoid bone.

Josh’s fingers butterfly down to Tyler’s waist. Hover there, awaiting permission. Tyler covers Josh’s knuckles as he guides him to the jutting bone of his hip and beyond. As soon as it lands on his sex, he jerks lightly.   
Josh’s eyes caress him like his hand is caressing his hardness.   
“I’ve missed you, Ty.” It’s barely above a whisper, this declaration. “I need you.  _I want you.”_  
  
Tyler gives up. Gives in. His arm snakes around Josh’s body and they sink into one another, muscles enfolding. Thoughts fragment as his hands and lips continue their hungry search.  
  
Jesus it’s so easy, so _natural._ They gravitate apart for months and then their orbits clash and it’s like they were never  _not one person_.   
How can you resist the man who completes you so fully that you can feel him soak into your soul?  
  
Josh’s lips brush his ear, raising goosebumps all over Tyler’s skin. Their lips meet. Softly at first, Tyler’s tongue giving Josh’s teasing laps with his own.   
Jesus he’s missed him. Missed this. So fucking much it stings.  
Tyler’s hungered from the memory of his mouth on Josh’s and it’s only when Josh moans into him that he realizes exactly how much they deserve this.   
  
Tyler pulls Josh on top. Seizes his lips with savage intensity.   
“Oh God Josh,” Tyler sibilates, sweeping his nose across Josh’s cheek when they break.   
Stains form on their boxers, arousals leaky and throbbing. Josh pulls his down and then helps Tyler. As his toe flicks the underwear to the floor, Josh paints Tyler’s chest with licks and kisses. He reaches Tyler’s dark patch with gliding tongue.  
What lies against it disappears into his thirsty mouth.   
“Josh, Jesus… “ Tyler’s lips are drawn crooked in an effort to control his whimpering. Fingers fan out across the back of Josh’s head.   
  
Josh groans.  
Tyler hums.   
Sex to muscle, cheeks hollowed, Josh consumes him. Tyler chases off the images running through his mind… the ones he doesn’t want to see. A PowerPoint presentation of his sins won’t help now, not when he’s got Jish in his bed, cock stuffed down his throat. 

Josh works the length, sucking gently on the briny head on the upstroke. His hand pumps evenly, to the time of Tyler’s heaving chest. When he comes up for air, chin dripping with saliva and pouty peach lips swollen from effort, he kisses the skin of Tyler’s delicate inner thigh.  
“Ty… you with me?“  
  
The leash pulls and Tyler chokes again. One last chance. It’s not too late.  
“What are we doing, Josh?” The  _sh_ is like sugar on his cotton candy lips.  _Joshhh._    
Except it is. It’s too late now.  
It was too late 97 days ago.  
It was too late the time before that, at the back of the tour bus when hurried tugs and muffled moans were the backdrop to Josh fucking him into the tapestry.  
All this mess is ten years too late.  
  
Josh rests his palm on Tyler’s tummy. “We’re making love, Ty. That’s what we’re doing, We’re making love.”   
Tyler nods, tilts his head. Closes that part of himself that hates all this skulking about. The cheating and the lying and the utter misery of not being able to grab Josh’s face when they’re on stage and just plant one on him. 

Josh is right. They’re making love because they ARE in love. Though what they’re doing is wrong by all societal standards, it’s also so fucking emotionally right for them.  
What they feel makes their essences bleed each other. Right now that’s all that matters.  
  
Tyler utters an indrawn gasp when Josh’s erection grazes his. He makes room for him between his quivering thighs, spreading himself in want. Lower lip nipped into his pointy canines he begs.  
“Make love to me, Jishwa. Make me forget the world.”  
  
Josh does. He sheathes himself in Tyler’s warmth. Within and without. He moves inside him with complete abandon, Tyler’s name dripping from his lips.  
“Kiss me,” Josh murmurs, moving down the angle of Tyler’s jaw until he settles on his shiny mouth.  
  
Tyler pulls him. Drags him. Kneads and claws into taut muscle.  
He sighs under Josh, _into_ Josh. Into the intimacy and awareness of flesh that only Josh can offer him. The slow slide of his gaze betrays his ardor.  
No one has ever made him feel this way. Only Josh.  
Tyler is pretty sure no one else ever will.  
  
Josh’s fingers sprout cotton. Hands on either side of Tyler, centering him, Tyler clenching and unclenching as he hiccups “Mms” and “Yeahs.”  
Pushing his hands deeper into the sag of the springs below, Josh changes angle so he can possess him fully.  
“Fuck yourself on me, Ty.”  
Tyler’s body arches from the hips. Josh rolls lubriciously into his thrusts.  
“I love you, Jish.”  
Skimming either side of his gorgeous body with calloused fingertips, Tyler latches on to Josh’s smooth thighs.  
Josh stills, watches him. Watches him impale himself into a tremor, eyelashes fluttering. Head thrown back.  
  
White stains on white linens made for black lies. Thickened sexes jerk. Bodies shudder.  
Tyler breaks when Josh does. Salt within and salt without.  
The explosive finale to their perfect symphony.  
  
The men lay panting, chests heaving. Josh’s member, still half hard, lingers inside Tyler.  
He enjoys the sensation of fullness. Unlike the hollow in his soul, it’s reassuring.  
  
Josh drops his head and rests it in the groove of Tyler’s sternum. The pain in his heart is becoming a sick and fiery gnawing.  
“I love you, Tyler.”    
Tyler breathes in a solemn half-whisper. “I love you, Jishwa.”  
A pause follows where Josh just listens to Tyler’s pulse, ear to his breast.  
“I can’t do this anymore.”  
Stiffening, Josh tosses his head up.  
“What do you mean?”  
“This. I can’t do this anymore. The hiding. The lies.”  
  
Josh jams the brakes on his line of thought. Redwood eyes blink furiously and a sensation of desolation sweeps over him.  
“What are you saying, Ty?” voice husky with despair.  
Cupping his chin, Tyler searches Josh’s upturned face.  
“It means I can’t live without you anymore. I don’t want to. Ten years of this farce has been enough.”  
  
Breath hitching, all his blood drains to his feet. Josh is suddenly aware of a lump in his throat. He shifts when he slips out of Ty, his sticky sex limp against his thigh. Josh slinks and hovers in front of Tyler’s face.  
“I can’t live without you, either. I would have done this a long time ago. But I know… I know why we did what we did. But it isn’t just us anymore and I realize that’s not fair.”  
“It hasn’t been just us for a long time now. That’s on me. But I’ll take care of it.”  
  
Josh’s faint smile holds a touch of sadness. “I’m not a saint, either, Ty.”  
“I know. But it’s not too late. Not for us.”  
The mask of uncertainty dissipates, softening Josh’s tense jaw.  
“Why now?”  
“I thought about us. I had so much fun tonight. It dawned on me… this could be us every night. This is what I want. You. Me. A place of our own to call home. I wanna fall asleep next to you without feeling guilty and wake up blessed because you’re by my side.”  
An almost imperceptible nod means agreement.  
Tyler lightly fingers a loose curl of Josh's hair.  
  
“I never asked for anything, Tyler, but you’ve given me the sun and the moon. You know that?”  
Josh drops a kiss on his slick lips.  
“What are the sun and the moon without the stars, Josh? You complete the heavens. There is no me without you, I understand that now. And that’s so rare and so precious we’d be fools to throw it away.”  
“This isn’t going to be easy. There’s going to be a stir.”  
Trying to settle the agitation in his voice, Tyler inhales deeply through his nose.  
“Honestly, I don’t think it’ll surprise anyone. Many people will win some bets. What’s a little scandal to a lifetime together?”  
  
Tyler winks, a dazzling grin curling up the corners of his mouth.  
“So we’re doing this, Ty?”  
Hand sliding down Tyler’s arm, Josh finds his fingers and laces them with his. In the first of what will hopefully be an eternity of nights holding each other, Josh relaxes into Tyler.   
“We’re doing this, Josh. I don’t want to spend another night without you near.”


	2. Packing Plaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler and Josh come out.  
> Tyler has developed an addiction to plaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I hate summaries. Here's another little nugget regardless.  
> Enjoy!

“I think I own too much plaid.”  
Tyler’s deep and gentle voice fills the space between them. He tilts his head this way and that, lost like some garment pirate in a sea of variegated checkers.  
Dawn grey, midnight velvet… there’s a shade for every mood. There’s even a yellow one, a ghastly parody of sunlight that Josh absolutely hates.  
The lusty red, that’s his favorite on Tyler. Looks so good against his sun-kissed skin.  
“Um… “  
Josh would disagree if it weren’t so true. Hard to deny this latest obsession when Tyler sits in the middle of the bed, hedged by a patchwork of shirts. Is this some kind of crisis? PTSD from recent events giving birth to a flannel defense mechanism?  
  
“I think we might need an intervention here, baby.”  
“Oh, you think so?” The arch to Tyler’s eyebrow spells s-a-r-c-a-s-m even more pointedly than his tone. “Because I don’t think I have _enough_ plaid, Josh.”  
Tyler smirks, raising both hands in the air as he fingers two of about a dozen tops. They’re smooth and pleasant to the touch, like river-tumbled pebbles.  
“How can I deny myself so much comfortable, fleecy warmth?”  
Josh shakes his head. “You kill me, Ty. We’re going to need a lot more boxes.”  
  
The drummer perches cross-legged on the ottoman, hands hanging loosely between his thighs. A little sneeze of laughter escapes his parted lips. He chuckles like this when he’s not expecting Tyler to say something amusing (but then almost always the singer spits out one of his one-liners and makes him titter).  
“I say run with it, Ty. All bow to the layer lord!”  
Lately Josh’s levity has been making Tyler giggle a lot. Freedom does that. It’s like a long exhalation of relief for the soul.  
  
The singer looks straight ahead, eyes brown as newly turned earth locking with Josh’s. Every time their gazes meet, Tyler’s head turns over and inevitably a breath catches somewhere deep in the depths of Josh’s throat.  
They’re gone for each other.  
“I’m happy, Jish. I’ve never been happier. _I love you_.”  
These declarations have been more frequent since they came out. Since they don’t have to hide anymore.  
Josh grins, the tip of his tongue resting on his lower lip as he flashes his white teeth. “Me too, Ty. Me too. More than life.”  
A familiar ache clutches his chest, seizing the parts of him that belong to Tyler. (So all of him).  
It tugs… draws Josh to him like the sea that longs to touch a faraway shore.  
  
Josh crawls forward, never ungluing his warm honey stare. When he’s hungry for Tyler, there’s a certain appearance of voracity about him, a spark igniting a much bigger fire within.  
Tyler makes room for him as Josh wades through the pool of gentian blue cotton at the foot of the bed. He snuggles into Tyler’s waiting arms, resting his head in the hollow below the creamy expanse of his neck.  
“Ty…”  
Josh can feel Tyler’s pulse pound, his own heart jolting. As soon as he’s wrapped securely around his strong shoulders, Josh sighs unevenly.  
They lie back slowly onto the fluffy cushions.  
“Are you sure you’re okay with moving to LA?” he whispers, the words drawn-out and low. The doubt is unfounded, Josh knows this deep down. However, it’s been nagging him and he just needs to ask.  
If the moving truck outside full of labeled cartons wasn’t enough indication, Tyler nods against him. His puckered lips kiss Josh’s curls with feather-light delicacy.  
“Yeah Joshie. I am.”  
Slim arms tense into a reassuring squeeze.  
  
Tyler owes Josh at least this, to try to achieve happiness. A fresh start in a place far away from all these “Ohio” memories.  
After everything Tyler put him through, deciding to move to LA was merely the first in a series of restitutions. The waiting… the pining… a marriage that backed Josh into a corner, forcing the both of them to settle for something that would never work for either.  
Most of what transpired was Tyler’s fault and he is finally owning up to it. Had he not been such a coward he and Josh would have been celebrating their wedding anniversaries long ago. Hindsight is always 20/20, though.  
“I want to give it a try. It’s your turn, Joshie, to dictate what happens. I mean we’ll get a second place here eventually, you know I can’t stray from Ohio for long periods of time. But right now I don’t want to spend another night apart, Josh. If you’ve chosen LA to be your home, that’s where we’ll go. It doesn’t matter to me anymore. Home for me is where _you are_.”  
  
Instinctively Josh lifts his chiseled chin, hand brushing the silky smoothness of Tyler’s nape. He inches forward in sensuous invitation and Tyler angles down.  
“I love you, Ty. Thank you.”  
“Never thank me for loving you, Josh. That was the easiest thing in the world.”  
Josh shifts, lips like velvet as his tongue caresses Tyler’s mouth. Slowly the pressure increases, arms pinioned as their weight presses into the mattress. Josh kisses Tyler so fiercely that molten shafts of sensation run down his stomach to his legs, making them quiver.  
Jesus I love you, Josh, Tyler thinks. He will never let him go again.  
  
The past two months have been complicated. But it was for a greater good. The coming out to their fans and its aftermath… “the stir” that Josh had spoken of that night they had decided to go public… well it was epic.  
Tyler had deliberated with Josh, agonized over when the “right” time would be to unleash this bomb on the world. After all, it wasn’t exactly something you drop in the middle of a radio interview. The moment had to be as monumental as the news itself.  
“Do you trust me?” Tyler had asked Josh.  
There was no need for an answer.  
  
It happened the night of Josh’s birthday. The drummer had a feeling Tyler would choose that concert, since it was all about celebration. The fans, the venue… everything centered on honoring Joshie.  
There really couldn’t have been a better moment.  
  
Tyler took his place at the edge of the stage, calling Josh to him as usual.  
“Ladies and gentlemen, my best friend, the best drummer I could ever ask for… and the love of my life. Mr. Josh Dun.”  
He pulled Josh near for their bow, like he had done hundreds of times before. Fingers laced together as they bent repeatedly at the waist.  
At that point there was nothing out of the ordinary. Tyler had called him the love of his life before, right? Given him a flower on bended knee?  
Then it happened. Tyler stilled the roaring crowd with one finger lifted in the air. Asked for a stronger spotlight.  
And when the circle shone upon them, their hearts thundering and senses on fire… Tyler turned in place and kissed Josh. Right there on stage.  
It was as if the arena had been holding its breath and gasped all at once.  
  
That was it. It was done. No taking anything back.  
  
**“The rumors are true!”**  
**“Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun are gay… _and together_!”**  
**“Have they been hiding this all these years?!”**  
  
Social media paralyzed from activity. Their phones wouldn’t stop ringing. The following week was nothing but press releases and thousands of interview requests.  
The label released an official statement in support of their artists’ choice to “live their best lives freely” and applauded them for coming clean about a situation “intensely personal and sensitive.”  
There was outrage. There was praise. Haters swallowed their words and shippers came out of the woodwork in droves, finally free to openly express their loyalty.  
For every fan they lost, one was gained from the community.  
  
Josh and Tyler knew it wouldn’t be easy. Frankly what happened was par for the course. It was, after all, a celebrity coming out, and reasoning away how two bandmates could end up a couple wasn’t exactly a head scratcher.  
The emptying of closets and drawers that followed was hard. Painful. Half of everything suddenly disappeared, only to leave room for another half to come.  
No amount of anger or disappointment, however, outweighed the alleviation of unloading all their guilt. The years of hiding and lies... it was too long in coming. Right or wrong, the truth needed to surface because everyone involved in this story deserved a chance at _true happiness_.  
Honestly, at the end of it all, staring the facts in the face… no one was surprised. And like all novelties, the scandal faded. After a month, the clamor died down. The band went back on the road for festivals and things just kind of fell into place once more. Almost as if nothing had happened.   
  
This is where they are now. Finally on break again… finally moving in together. Emptying Tyler's house so they can drive cross-country. A mini-vacation, just the two of them.   
This time next week Josh will pick up the keys to their new house in the hills. _Their new house_. His and Ty’s. There’s even a beautiful space for Jim in the enormous garden out back.  
  
It was a long road to get here. Both of them know that. But the important thing is arriving at destination.  
  
Josh breaks… eyes crinkling from his wide grin as he studies Tyler’s beautiful features. He can’t believe he’s his.  
“What?” Ty breathes, his voice edged like burnished steel.  
“Nothing, Ty. It’s just… sometimes I want to pinch myself. Make sure this is real.”  
Tyler sighs. Rubs his thumb into the soft part of Josh’s palm, bringing his fingertips to his cerise lips. A new ring glitters where a black band once was. It looks identical to the one Josh now wears on his fourth finger.  
“It’s real, Jish. All of it. You’re stuck with me now.”  
“You won’t hear me complaining, Mr. Dun.”  
Tyler’s expression dissolves into an irrepressible smile. “Tyler Dun. I like the sound of that. Just a few more months and we can make it official, Jish. Can you believe it?”  
Dark eyes swivel down, a peck landing on Josh’s nose.  
“You sure you want to take my name?” Josh asks, cocking an eyebrow. He not-so-secretly loves the idea. "Because if you want to be called like Tyler Plaid or something I get it."  
Tyler cracks hysterically, hugging Josh tight. The silkiness of his ringlets tickles against Tyler's cheek. “Oh yeah, Josh. Definitely going with Tyler Dun. Who wants to have two first names in their signature?”  
"Okay," Josh chuckles.   
"And anyway," Tyler adds, "don't you know we're going to get married in matching plaid suits?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be a third chapter on domestic bliss. We'll see if inspiration strikes! For now I'll leave it open.  
> Sorry this chapter wasn't as long, I've been away a lot. It didn't turn out exactly as planned, either, but sometimes if I stress too much about stuff I never post, so here it is and I hope you liked it.  
> You know my love for these bois is huge so I always just hope to do them justice and make them happy. 
> 
> references to recent tweets


	3. The Cheek of Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler returns to Ohio for the holidays. His demons follow.  
> Josh does his best to distract him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not at all what I was planning to write for this third (perhaps last?) chapter, but here you go! ❤️  
> Sorry about the weird formatting I’m doing this from my phone from somewhere in West Africa.

The dawn has brought a shimmer to the snow. It’s dazzling, as if the backyard got sprinkled in powdered Swarovski crystals.   
Tyler squints against its brilliance, dark head tipped sideways. 

His gaze is roving, like that of a man who is desperately searching for something he lost.   
In a way, that’s exactly what this is.  
  
A flutter of wings startles him. Two tiny scratches disturb the rime crusting the ledge. A shaky hand reaches for the small crimson creature as if testing its command over nature.

Too late. 

The bird is already just a puff of fiery feathers when his index and middle pads finger the pane. 

They linger until the cold doesn’t numb his skin. 

_  
  
Tyler has missed Ohio. He’s missed the winter and the freeze. The taste of snowflakes on his tongue, melting as lightly and sweetly as a wafer... bliss. 

All the laughs had in front of the fireplace, hot cocoa warming his palms as he sipped it slowly from a chipped Snoopy mug... it all comes flooding back.

Holidays at home were nice when he was a kid.

So many memories. 

Some of them seem false now. 

The truth, now that’s harder to discern when you’re a kid, isn’t it? He wonders how much he has actually seen through a veil of denial.

There are two things he is sure about:

Once upon a time he DID have a chipped Snoopy mug. 

And once upon a time, for a brief moment, he was also happy. 

-

There’s something about the chill that awakens determination in him. Tyler had buried it for a while, had other matters to attend to these past few months. 

But now... maybe… just maybe, this is exactly what he needs.   
An awakening.    
Rebirth.

Baptism into a new life and a new family.   
  
It’s inclemency that kills him. Life was a real struggle before.

Before. Yes, everything up until a year ago was hardness. It was rough edges and sharp corners. The sting of biting truths and above all, serrated tongues. 

Tyler’s been missing a lot of things lately. Some tangible like his Snoopy mug. And others...   
Well, the some, the “others,” the ghosts... they’re now so far out of reach it might not matter. 

Perhaps, upon further thought, Tyler is on the verge of deciding it’s all for the best.   
  
_  
  
A squirrel jumping from a branch catches his attention and he studies it through narrowed eyes. 

The nervous creature flies into the tree across the fence like a kite riding the breeze, but then gets tangled. The movement knocks some snow loose. A wand of it, almost magical, flakes. 

Uneven piles beneath catch what falls. Tyler half-smiles, reminded of something from his childhood. Was it he and Zack that had climbed into the tree house and…?

Is this another false memory? his mind stops.

Catching his reflection in the glass drags the edges of his mouth down. There’s no denying it…  sorrow still shadows his languid gaze when he goes back to that place. 

“I’m sorry, Tyler. I’m sorry. I just can’t do this. It isn’t right.”   
The voice haunts him. 

Shrill and then booming, it echoes in his mind just like the creak then the slam of a door. 

In hindsight, a slap to the face would have been easier than hearing hate be made lexeme.

-  
A flutter of lash blinks back bitter tears. An exhale heavier than the choke of wood smoke fogs the frost-coated window with a spherical cloud.  
“Do you, Tyler Joseph…?”  
“I do,” his inner voice chants. “I do I do I do I do I do... Jesus I do…”  
  
The wedding band around his fourth finger itches and he turns it between his slim fingers like a Buddhist prayer wheel. 

Maybe if he spins it enough he’ll accumulate merit? Maybe he’ll finally purify his karma?

  
Tyler leans forward and then throws his head back almost immediately, a small, round circle smudging the glass from where the tip of his nose pressed in.  
“It was worth it,” he whispers with a slow nod. No one is present who needs convincing. 

“It was all worth it no matter what.”

-  
  
A fiery palm follows the roundness of Tyler’s shoulder before finding a home in the middle of his chest. His own hand swallows it, icy fingers creeping past the fleshy part of the thumb.  

As soon as he’s dipped his head, Josh’s chin finds a spot by the bend of Tyler’s swan neck. He kisses the soft skin there and settles in.  
“What are you doing, Ty?”

Josh smells like baby powder and arabica. A hint of orange peels and cinnamon.   
He came in with coffee and muffins, only to find Tyler mumbling to himself by the window. Now he’s wondering if Tyler isn’t having another “episode.”

Now he’s wondering how cold the coffee will get once they’re done talking about it.

  
“Watching squirrels,” Tyler replies with a deep, relenting sigh. “I saw a cardinal earlier. It was pecking at a suet your neighbor hung.”  
He knows how dumb all this must sound. How out of sorts he must look, hair tousled and eyes puffy, dressed loosely in Josh’s flannel pajamas as he stares at local wildlife.How did I forget to pack more than one pair of pjs? Tyler wonders. (As if sleepwear were the biggest issue on his mind right now).   
  
Tyler’s watery gaze and the dark duffles under his eyes speak volumes. Josh has been concerned since they got to Ohio. Being here has turned out to be more difficult than they anticipated. Josh should have known and now he’s admonishing himself for it.“What’s wrong Ty?”  
Josh knows, but he has to ask. His other arm locks protectively around his waist. 

Tyler’s lost weight again. Josh can always tell by how far his hold can snake around his tummy, by how sharply Tyler’s false ribs jut out. 

 

Are they as real and as fragile as the Snoopy mug, these thin bones? 

Josh pulls the singer flat against him and waits for his love’s quickened pulse to subside.  
“Ty… just let it out.” Fanning his fingers wide apart, he rubs Tyler’s chest with gentle sweeps.   
“You haven’t spoken about it. You need to get pissed off. Let it out. You can’t keep this bottled up, look what it’s doing to you.”

-

It’s Christmas 13 months prior. Tyler and Josh are engaged. They have a son on the way. 

It’s also the last time Tyler will see his family.

To Tyler: Utter rejection. Merry Fucking Christmas. 

No gift receipt and no returns. 

“You’ve shamed us. You’ve shamed God. You renounced everything we stand for and turned your back on all our teachings. You and Josh are a living sin, and no one will ever change my mind about that.” 

Tyler never knew Kelly was this good at swordplay. 

The first plunge has cut his heart evenly in two. 

“You’ve even brought a child into this! An innocent lamb in God’s flock! I’m so disappointed in you. No amount of prayer will ever save your soul, Tyler Dun.” 

His mother spits the Dun out like it’s a poison dart. 

Tyler stands on the threshold of his childhood home in subzero temperatures, holding a bag of presents he’ll never be able to deliver. 

A gloved hand twists into the twine handles like a noose.

It’s one he has braided for himself, he realizes this, and now his mother is doing the rigging.

“Don’t ever come here again, Tyler. Don’t ever try to call. I know I’m your mother but what you’ve done, it’s too much. I’m ashamed you ever came out of my body.”

I’m ashamed you ever came out of my body. 

And the stool gets kicked out from under him. 

Whoosh...

  
Jesus Christ. Who says that?! Even Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother stood by him to the end. Blamed herself perhaps, sure, but she never disowned her son.

Is being with the love of his life worse than being a serial killer? his broken soul screams.  
  
-  
  
Tyler sinks into Josh’s warm embrace, but his mind is elsewhere.   
  
“Mom… Please… “   
His voice had cracked at the please. Just like it did when he was a kid. Eyes shiny, gangly limbs trembling… fuck he was 6 again!  

Feeling scolded and begging for his mother’s fucking approval. 

He remembers it... he had dropped his Snoopy mug and cracked it. His father glued it together and it still worked, but Kelly didn’t trust him setting the table for breakfast anymore. 

“Mom... please... “

Begging. 

For her love. 

Her acceptance. 

For any sign from her that she still cared.  
  
Except she didn’t. What people thought meant more to her than her own son’s happiness.  
Kelly was the matriarch and her word was law. Chris stood in the living room next to Zack that day, arms hung at their sides like the walking dead, expressions equally dumb. 

His father and brother were petrified, statues locked forever into their hypocrisy.  
  
How dare they judge me?! Tyler had fumed later. The pot calling the kettle black!   
Tyler knew about his dad’s “issue” with sports gambling.  
He knew about Zack’s “friend” Shelly, the one he had started texting (sexting!) again when Tatum had gotten pregnant and moody.

Only Jay and Madison were grieving, clearly in disagreement but too afraid, yet, to go against “the family.”  
  
Loyalty was so easily extinguished, Tyler thought. That’s precisely what disintegrated his will. 

A similar ease but with a whole different set of causes and effects threw him into the Dun family’s open arms. 

   
Family. What a fucking joke, at least when it came to his. Family are people who are supposed to care about you and support you. Love you no matter what.  
But no… not his.

Not the Josephs.

It was fine, sure, as long as he had played along. When he was married and pretending to be happy and making millions… then Mother Joseph could go to bridge and brag that her son was one of the most successful musicians in the world.

Of course she took the credit for his accomplishments. She actually thought being a good Christian had had influence on her son’s success. (As if playing in front of 12 people and taking enormous risks for years had somehow been her sacrifice).  
  
Nevermind that the entire time Tyler was working his ass off for his dream. (And yet he was miserable).  
Nevermind he harbored a secret for which he barely slept for a decade. (Throwing up half his meals was just a perk, right?)  
Nevermind he dreamt of his drummer night after night and conjured up images of Josh Dun while silently suffering through social engagements with relatives he barely knew… and cared even less to impress.  
  
People thought he didn’t drink, but he did. People thought he was happy back then, but he wasn’t.   
So much for what people thought.  
  
None of that mattered now. He and Josh were living their truth. 

  
“I’m not your mother anymore, Tyler. And you’re not my son.” 

She had let the words sink in deliberately, one arm crossed over her bosom while the other gripped the polished doorknob.  
“I’m sorry, Tyler. I’m sorry. I just can’t do this. It isn’t right.”  
  
Just like that she slammed the door.   
Like turning off the light at the end of the day, except she had snuffed out his entire past and the life he once knew. 

 

The family laughs... the hot cocoa... the Snoopy mug. 

All gone. 

_

  
“I don’t want to talk about it, Josh. This has been eating away at me for too long. It’s taken its pound of flesh from me. I’m letting it go. I’m letting them go. I’m done. It’s been a year.  
  
Josh senses resolve in the renewed rigidity of Tyler’s posture. For the moment, Tyler is being honest even with himself. 

He’s tired. 

Tired of crying about his family’s inability to accept his lifestyle. Tired of overthinking whether or not having a child with Josh hadn’t been the dealbreaker with them. 

Who gives a fuck, his mind tells him now that he’s run out of tears.

Indeed... who gives a fuck. 

Looking into his son’s loving eyes, the ones with the almond Dun slant and sienna hue... that’s all he needs. His boys. 

He had hoped their child would inherit Josh’s ... well, everything. That’s why he had him donate. 

Something deep inside him held a parking brake on sharing any more Joseph genes with the world. He was sure his own brothers and sister would be more than happy to pick up his slack. 

 

He fell in love with his son the minute he was born and he continues to fall in love with him again and again and again...

How could he not? He’s the spitting image of his father and if it weren’t for a small twist to his upper lip when he smiles... he could be Josh’s twin when he was a baby. 

It’s good. Dun genes are good. 

What Tyler sees in the mirror of his husband’s gorgeous gaze is his future. 

He has his own family now. He’s a Dun. 

What more does he need?

-

  
“Okay baby. Okay. I’m glad.” 

The drag of Tyler’s slick lips against his has almost quieted Josh’s worries. 

Almost.

When Tyler doesn’t want to discuss something there’s no use. If it comes up again Josh will press further. 

Right now... right now, though, he feels something else pressing into his upper thigh. Something much more primal. 

Tyler smirks and Josh catches the flutter of his chocolate gaze to the closed door. 

“It’s locked,” Josh breathes. 

A hand steals down to the ties on the front of Josh’s sweats, shy almost. As if it hasn’t done this a thousand times before.

“Where’s Sammy?” Cloth catches between Tyler’s fingers.

There’s less room in his pajama front now, too. Perhaps Josh’s knee brushing against his balls has something to do with it.

“He’s asleep downstairs,” Josh hiccups.

“Mom and Abbie got him. We’ve probably got...15 minutes. I told my mom I needed to talk to you.” 

 

Tyler drops his pants as he quickly as he drops to his knees. 

“Well, I only need... six...”

Josh chuckles lightly. “Baby... Try four.”

Boy have things changed. At least for now, they’ve learned to maximize their time since the baby. 

Edging isn’t a practice they can afford until Sammy gets older.

 

“Relax Josh...”

Josh’s cock is leaking so badly as soon as it’s in Tyler’s tight grip that it twitches. A couple swollen drops of precome dribble down the head.

“Oh Jesus,” Josh gasps at the feel of wet muscle lapping it up.

When Tyler lightly sucks while working his slit,  it makes Josh’s toes curl in his Christmas socks. 

“Harder Ty... suck harder....”

It’s been a few days since release, for either of them. With the holidays it got to be so busy and the festivities were so exhausting and then Sammy... 

“Fuck Ty...”

Fingers ridge and flatten lines into Tyler’s hair. Josh guides him into a swirl before falling into an even pumping rhythm.

Tyler’s hot breath tickles Josh’s pubes as he sucks, five nails convulsively grasping at his perfect ass for stability. 

 

This is dangerous now... the twinkling stars are turning into flurries and suddenly it’s white and warm everywhere and... 

“Ty...” it’s more a breathless beg because Josh has stopped inhaling altogether and there’s now a blizzard behind his eyelids and... 

and...  

and... God help him...

“Oh fuuuuccck!”

Josh would love to scream it like he does at home, but he cant. 

The whimper escaping him is as delicate as the splash of semen in Tyler’s mouth. 

It dissolves on the air and in the mouth, melting as lightly and sweetly as a wafer... 

-

Six minutes? Four? Try two! 

Tyler doesn’t have time to externalize his sarcastic remark, though, because as soon as he swallows, his mouth is devoured by Josh’s. 

Tyler finds himself, dick shiny in arousal and throbbing to its own pulse, pinned to his  drummer’s childhood bed. 

He wants to come so badly...

“Open for me, Ty...”

Snark is filed away for later... right now their efforts are mostly concentrated on not making the headboard hit the wall too obviously...

Tyler bites into the pillow, frantically jerking off and riding Josh’s turgid cock from behind. 

“Fuck yourself on me... “ Josh orders into his ear, moving the molecules around his lobe. 

A quick nip at the nape, a hard thrust and then a brush on his prostate, and Tyler is gone.

Roughly two minutes later Abbie calls up, her painted toes dangling from the first step. 

Hesitant, but knowing her Mom is just one room over, she gently raises her voice. 

“Guys, guys... Sammy’s waking up! We wanna get him dressed so we can all go sledding!”

She hates to interrupt... and there’s no way she’s going up there to knock on Josh’s door. Abbie is smiling to herself, glad the boys are finally getting some alone time. Or, at least that’s what she thinks. Still, a couple of moans and the squeak of Josh’s old box spring make for a pretty good confirmation. 

In fact, in an act of sisterly deflection, she turned up the volume just a little on the kitchen tv and engaged her mother in some discussion about cookie batter. 

“Guys...” 

Josh and Tyler hear her, but are running blind through another snowstorm... ever closer to falling over the cusp of a perilous cliff.

Tyler’s lower lip is sucked up nicely in Josh’s hungry mouth. 

He lets it go with a little bit of canine and a lot of remorse so he can gather his breath.

“For the love of god Josh please don’t stop now...” Ty whimpers. 

There’s no fucking way he’s stopping. Because... here they go... 

Not without irony, Josh manages an honest if not strained reply. 

“Okay Abbie... okay... we’re coming ... we’re coming!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your continued support my lovelies. I’m currently in West Africa and writing on my phone so forgive any typos weird spacing etc I’ll fix any mistakes when I return.  
> I know I’m not doing the Joseph family any favors here but the Dun fam has always given me a whole other vibe so that’s where my head is at.  
> Please kudo if it’s your first time reading this and drop a comment because Archive has been a bit dry on those lately 😭  
> Love and light!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. And thanks so much for reading.


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